Post 9: Facebook and parties

April 17th was the last time I was on facebook, until last night. Why did I decide to activate my account again, I don't know? I am not a big fan of the whole social networking thing. Mandi is addicted to it, and that is ok. I am glad she has something to take her mind off stuff. I left my "status" blank rather than married or single, etc.

I send a friend request to her to be polite, but she said that Facebook was something that she would like to keep private? That is ok with me. I was kind of hoping that I would not have to friend her.

The world is so strange to me right now. I feel like I love her, but it is displaced. I want to stay, but also want to leave. Having the kids makes this so much more difficult. If it weren't for them, I would have stayed gone. They can drive me nuts, but I do love them.

Mandi did come right out and say it, but I knew she didn't want me to go to the her company party; so I won't. I was pissed at first, but then I realized I didn't want her at mine. I am just not sure how we stand right now or why we even continue. Probably for survival right now. We need each other's income.

If I ever make 60K a year, I can move out and still help out my kids. Money could very well bring me a level of happiness.